On Friendship


I’ve been a member of the online community “20-Something Bloggers” for a while now, although I must admit that I don’t participate very often because I’m not really sure what to say to others about my blog. Although I think feedback can be a great thing for any writer, I’m only really looking for new readers who are interested in what I have to say. If that’s not you then that’s fine, but I also don’t need strangers telling me how my blog “could be better.” As if they know.

Anyway, one thing that 20SB posted on their blog recently was a writing prompt, which I’m taking advantage of today. In case you couldn’t tell by the title of this post, the topic is “Friendship.”

I think I fall into a category that a lot of people in my generation find themselves in – I have a lot of “friends,” but only a very few “close” friends. I could probably name the number of people I feel I could tell anything to on both of my hands (i.e., the number is somewhere between 5 and 10). This made it extremely difficult when figuring out who we should invite to the wedding, because Shaun is in the same boat I am. We both know a lot of people and hang out with a lot of people. There were a lot of people who would be offended (and who probably were offended…) if we hadn’t/because we didn’t invite them. But weddings force you to draw that line somewhere, and we chose people who regularly initiate contact with usnot just the other way around. 

Another interesting thing about friends that the wedding brought to the forefront was how friends enter and leave your life at certain important points. They play a crucial role in whatever period you’re going through at the time, but that doesn’t mean you’re meant to be friends forever. In the end, we invited a lot of these “past” friends – people who we saw almost daily at one point in our lives but weren’t quite as close to anymore. I can say that with almost no exception, they didn’t come. And that’s fine, it just really hammered home the point that some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever while others, for whatever reason, are able to stick around for the long haul. I’m sure it comes down more to circumstance than anything else. Looking back, I have my best high school friends (who I see more now that I’m slowly transitioning back to the Green Bay area, with an eye towards working up here after graduation). I have my best friends from the dorms in college, my best friends from band (who are still some of my closest friends, thankfully, and many of whom are still a big part of my life), my best friends from other student orgs that I was a part of in college. Now I have friends from law school, and it’s difficult to consider the possibility that some day we’ll drift apart. But I guess that’s the cycle we all go through – and drifting will probably be a reality, in some capacity.

The key to making friendships like this work, I think, is continued communication. Which is obviously easier if you all live in the same area, or see each other on a regular basis. If you don’t, you have to make that much more of an effort, which is where the friendship gets hard and sometimes we drift. I’m sure a lot of this is my fault – I’m more introverted than extroverted by nature, so I’m not the type to constantly be going out at night just for the sake of “going out.” I love coffee and dinner dates with friends, but again if you’re not in the same town, that can be hard. Friendships are tricky…but like any relationship so, so worth it when you find the right ones.

And just because that turned out to be kind of a long rant, there’s a picture of me with my best friend last night…when the Packers beat Da Bears!


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