Naturally, Shaun and I have talked a little about our plan as far as kids go. I mean, with getting married and a good friend with a baby on the way, it would be strange (and probably problematic) if the topic didn’t come up. Luckily, this is something that we’re both 100% on the same page with. And that plan entails waiting. A long, long time.
Shaun says we’re on the 10 year plan. As in, maybe we’ll start trying in about 10 years. Now, I don’t know if that’s exactly right, but it’s probably not too far off of the mark. There are a lot of reasons we’re deciding to wait a while before having kids, but most of them have to do with the fact that we’re young – so we’re fortunate enough to have the option to wait and we can accomplish other things both separately and together in the meantime.
At a bare minimum, we’ll be waiting until I finish my remaining 2 years of law school and get a job to even start thinking about kids. Then there will be a period of time getting comfortable with my job, making long-term career plans for both of us, buying a house…so much to do before we can even think about adding another person to our family! (Unless that person is a puppy, in which case I’m of the strict opinion that we should add on right now.)
But honestly, while we’re ready and excited to start our lives together, I think the fact of the matter is that we recognize that neither of us is ready for children right now. When we both go out to eat or to the store and hear a screaming child (not babies…babies we understand. It’s the tantrums from older kids that really throw us), we exchange terrified glances and usually have a discussion that reaffirms our decision to wait when we get back to the car. We want to take advantage of our married life together for a few years, and while kids our in our future, they’re just not in our immediate future.
It’s like Carrie’s promise to Big in Sex and the City 2 (probably the only part of the movie worth watching, and that’s coming from a huge SATC fan) – “Me and you, just us two.” Except ours comes with the caveat “…for now.”
Were you and your significant other on the same page about kids from the outset? Are you waiting to have kids, or are you going to start trying right away after you get married? Do you even want kids at all?