Getting Some Perspective


I’ve spent a lot of time lately looking at wedding blogs. I love them, you all know that already. I like getting inspiration from them and finding little elements that we might not have thought of to incorporate into our own wedding. Eventually, we’ll have to pare down these ideas (like we’ll have to pare down our guest list…still) to find what actually suits our personalities and will work on the big day with no wedding coordinator, but I’m confident we’ll make it work.

Still, reading so many wedding blogs can have one not-so-nice effect. I talked about wedding brain a few posts ago, but I’m starting to think it’s more like Unable to Unplug from the Wedding Blogs syndrome. So when I stumbled upon this post on Offbeat Bride yesterday, I felt like it totally applied to me. And I’m going to try to keep those feelings under control from now on. I talk on here all the time about how a wedding is really just the gateway to a marriage, but lately I’ve had trouble living that sentiment sometimes.

I think (I’m about to let you guys into my soul here, so listen up) it’s because we’re still on the rocky road to preparing for some major life changes for both Shaun and me. Not wedding related changes, either. I’ve been told time and time again that planning a wedding while in law school was crazy and foolish and what-were-you-thinking. My eye doctor even asked me the other day if we were getting married because I was pregnant (Um, no…thanks). But preparing for the move and all of the challenges that have come with it are putting both of us on edge a little. My hubby-to-be isn’t the best at communicating and (in case you couldn’t tell), I need to talk it out. A lot. It overwhelms him, sometimes. So instead of badgering him with the same conversation yet again, I go online and keep “planning.” But really I’m just looking at the pretties and imagining a day when all of these hard decisions will be made and we’ll be able to snuggle on the couch and watch movies.

I know, it sounds as ridiculous to me as it does to you. Real life doesn’t work that way. There are always going to be struggles, and we’re going to have to learn to deal with them in responsible adult ways.

Which brings me full circle. Because on a different blog yesterday (have I ever mentioned The Knotty Bride to you? No? Oh..right…) I found the most inspiring post focused on love and marriage and relationships that made me immediately call Shaun and say, “I love you. No matter what happens, I know we’ll make this work. Because I choose you and you chose me.”

It just goes to show that bloggers are people too and the web is what you make it. Sure, there’s always going to be a bigger, better, fancier, more detailed or more expensive wedding out there. There are pretties to look at (and look and look and look) but also inspiring, heartfelt posts that make you stop and remember exactly why you’re doing this in the first place. Those are the best ones.

At the end of the day, I want a life with Shaun and a wedding that represents that life. I know he feels the same way. And we can’t wait for the next year to pass, but we’re also going to take each of those days and live them to the fullest, because you just never know.


4 responses »

  1. It’s easy and tempting to focus a lot of energy (too much) on the wedding — all the gorgeous, fun details — not the fact of waking up to the rest of your life with someone. Hopefully, you won’t make that mistake, but it seems to happen a lot, as girls mistake art-directing a production starring Them for establishing a new and very public commitment.

    After 11 years with my guy, we’re getting hitched Sept. 17, 2011 — a decision we made about two weeks ago. I like having so little time and a tight budget as it makes decisions faster and easier. (It’s also our second marriage, so the fantasy element is long gone!)

    • I agree completely. I think for me the most important thing is recognizing when I’m getting too wrapped up in the things that don’t matter, stepping back, and returning to the things that do matter. Thanks for the comment!

  2. Pingback: Budgeting (our time and money) « Wedding in the 920

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