Want to Know a Secret?


Believe it or not, there are a lot of elements of surprise that one must keep when planning a wedding. This is something that I’m finding more and more recently that I’m having a lot of trouble with. See, I’m not very good at keeping things a secret.

It’s not that I deliberately turn around and retell every secret I’m told…I don’t do that and I’d like to believe I’m a better friend than that. But surprises are kind of like good secrets, the kind that are too exciting to possibly keep all to yourself. As we plan and finalize more and more things about the wedding, it’s getting harder for me to keep it to myself. I want to share the surprise with everyone…but then it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore.

The hardest part are the multiple levels of surprise that I have to keep. There are surprises for the guests. What will the colors be? What will the bridesmaids be wearing? What will the flowers look like? Basically, from what I’ve gathered so far, the guests want everything to be a surprise. Which makes it kind of difficult to write a wedding blog about our planning progress. Guess I didn’t really think that one through, which is why this blog has gotten so philosophical and less wedding focused as of late.

There are surprises for me. Like I mentioned in my guest post for Jamie, I’m not so good at surprises. I love them, but I’m impatient. I want to know surprises for the same reason I want to tell them. The problem is that Shaun is almost as impatient as I am…so there are rarely surprises that are kept between us. I’m also a planner, so losing that element of control bothers me a little, but when it comes to things like the honeymoon I know he’s going to do a great job.

Then there are the surprises for Shaun. Those are the most difficult for me to keep a secret. I recently made a purchase for him that was supposed to be a surprise on our wedding day…but I let it slip that I was making the purchase. Now, only the specific object itself, and not the act of giving this specific gift, will be the surprise. (If that makes any sense at all, which it probably doesn’t…but I don’t want to get much more specific than that at the moment, maybe in a future post). But the dress (and everything else that I’ll be wearing), and other things have to be kept a secret too. And it’s hard for me to not tell so many things to the person that I tell everything to.

The best advice that I’ve received regarding surprises so far came from one of my coworkers at my summer job. When discussing my recently purchased dress (!) and how awful I am at keeping secrets, he told me, “Don’t let him see. Don’t even let him know what your hair or your makeup will look like, and don’t see him before you walk down the aisle. Make him wait until he can see it all together at one time. That look on his face the first time he sees you…he’s going to lose it. I know I did the first time I saw my wife walking down the aisle.”

I thought that was super sweet. Most guys won’t admit to something like that, but I suppose you can’t really claim that you didn’t cry when hundreds of people saw it and there’s photographic proof. The point is, it might be difficult for me to keep all of these things a secret from our guests and Shaun for the next year, but if I can make it, I think it will all be worth it.


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